Holidays as an Afterthought

Holidays can be difficult as an afterthought. Upcoming family holidays are exciting for many, and they look forward to familiar traditions. Many times when families get together, the family members are a part of the festivities. Living as an afterthought, there is hesitation when people gather as we may not feel welcome.

Living as an afterthought, standing against the wall and declining to join in the fun could be seen as unsocial. Protecting ourselves from humiliation or degradation is normal in our world. The feeling of unworthiness is already present. Rarely acknowledged or pulled in by other family members who are not aware of why we stay behind.

Staying in the background keeps us safe from being left behind in the day's events. While many gather to watch a sports event, finding a place to sit is difficult. We slide into the shadows to avoid offending or " getting in the way." We slip into the end of the line if there is a buffet, not wanting to stand out. We don't say anything if our favorite foods are low or gone, as few would notice.

If we speak up and request extra serving, a stern gaze may come our way if anyone answers at all. Few notice when we go to a different room when games are being played or sit against a wall. Being quiet and listening to the conversation around the dining table keeps us safe. Rarely are we asked for an opinion or thought on any given subject. It is difficult to

How do we break out of this pattern of life? Having a friend that is safe to talk to about hopes and dreams. At work, trying our best and contributing to the overall success of the department is our happy place. Sharing an idea that is implemented increases our feeling of worthiness. We belong in the world! Develop your favorite things. Find time to be with people who allow you to express your feelings. It takes time to find your way, it is worth it!

You ARE worthy! YOU matter!! You have a LOT to contribute!!!